How do you go about detailing in words, a dream for your life, with all of its intricacies and feelings it brings up in your heart?
If you’re anything like me, you’re dreams are NOT simple. They are not meaningless. There are not many days that pass by when you don’t think about them.
Our life dreams are complex and incredibly meaningful. I often wonder if the dreams I have about my life and the direction that it is taking are instilled in me from God. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh, I’ve had many dreams come and go that makes me doubt this to be true. But there is one dream, my biggest, that still sits heavy on my heart and consumes a part of me that nothing else can touch, except maybe God Himself.
Ever since I can remember, I wanted to study Marine Biology and be out on a boat in the ocean all day long studying the wild; studying a part of creation that I have been drawn to ever since I was young. I talk specifically of the oceanic mammals in the New England area. They are my passion. They still are a passion. There is something in my heart that will always draw me to this dream.
I had a plan to attend the University of Southern Maine, one of the best hands on marine biology programs in the country. I did not go. Apparently, my dream and drive during my high school years were not enough to get me there. I never applied to the university right after high school knowing my chances of acceptance were slim. One year before I met my husband, Chris, I was vacationing in Maine with my family as we’ve done for many years of my life. We stayed in a very small New England style town called Scarborough, and within Scarborough was Higgins Beach (my forever second home). It’s about 20 miles outside of Portland; where the University of Southern Maine is. I decided that year that I wanted to visit the school and potentially apply. I was 19 and more mature and ready to tackle my dream. I wanted it so badly. My parents took me and I got all of the information I needed. We also have a very good friend who is from my hometown and owns the house we vacation in. His name is Pres. Pres is a very intelligent man who knows Maine as well as he knows our home town. I remember a conversation I had with Pres and my Dad about the university and all of the things Pres had to say only confirmed my dream of attending more. I was excited at the possibility of studying what I was so passionate about in a place that I love more than I can put in to words .
Within that same week, we decided to take a trip to Boothbay Harbor for the day. We had never been there before and wanted to see it at least once. It was a schooner festival and I am absolutely in love with any sea worthy vessel.
I was out on a dock thinking about my future and the changes I could make for those beautiful mammals with research. I was watching some schooners and smaller sail boats in the harbor when I noticed a coast guard boat. I saw two men standing on that boat in uniform, so I struck up a conversation with them about the Coast Guard. In that moment, I found a spark within me that compelled me to get information on joining the coast guard. I knew that there were marine biologists studying for our government and helping to protect certain waters from fishing and poaching (which is another huge part of what I wanted to do).
Remember how indecisive I can be?
To say the least, I have so many dreams, and they can change from day to day. There is one constant that remains though. I belong in New England. I belong near the water. It’s not just an interest or a dream, it’s more of a feeling I have. I’ve always had it. This is the time where I ask again, do you think God puts dreams in to our hearts? I’ve felt a pull for so long to that piece of our beautiful country and I can only hope to one day find out why. It may not be for my intended dream; I doubt that it is. I just know that up there, in the wild, I belong.
My life changed when I met Chris. We dated, we’re engaged and now, tomorrow, will be married five years! Our life together is incredibly nomadic. We never know when our next move is or where it will be to. Most of the time, we are given very little notice. One or two weeks. SOMETIMES, we get more than that. My life has definitely not taken the path that I was plotting. It’s taken a much different, wild, wonderful, frustrating, surprising, scary, out of control turn to nowhere and everywhere. One day though, I know in my heart that I will be up there, in coastal New England for a reason. I don’t know what it is or when it will be, I just know in my heart that it will be. And it will be with Chris. Someday, I know, at least a small piece of my dream will come true.
